Facts and Arugments-the Last Goodbye

Recently, the Facts and Arguments section of the Globe and Mail posted an essay that caught my attention. I often glance at the section and wonder what the day's essay is about. The topic this time was " One last goodbye party", the story of a woman who knew that the end was near and arranged to have a garden party with friends. She was discharged from the hospital for the day and brought to the party where she hosted the event for friends and good-byes were said. I often find that many people are upset about some one's death not just because the person has passed away and they will not longer be part of another person's life but that the survivor did not have a chance to say good bye and express their feelings to person once last time.

We regret lost potential when person dies too young. With older people, we regret the fact that they are no longer a part of our days. We miss their conversations, words of wisdom, jokes or whatever made them unique to us.

Yesterday as I was leaving Charlie's house after spending time with his widow and her daughter, I met someone who knew my friend Charlie who passed away on Thanksgiving Day. This man who was walking two beautiful dogs was upset that he had not been part of Charlie's memorial and had not known that about his death. This man had known Charlie for nearly 50 years. Charlie had been his milk man during the 1950's! Unfortunately, Charlie's wife did not know how much Charlie was part of the community, taking walks around the neighbourhood and stopping to pass the time with neighbours and getting to know them. These walks had been part of his time and he had not explained who he met and socialized with.

It is interesting that we can not know everything about the people we live with. Hopefully, we can try to say what we need to, to the people who are part of our lives and not have regrets when our time or theirs comes.